I was driving from Cambridge, Ontario to London this afternoon when a moment came upon me, and it’s stayed through the hours since. It was a sense of … completion … sufficiency … total allrightness. It was, and is, quiet. Almost not there, except it is. What’s it look like, you ask? Well here goes:
I don’t need now to be anything other than what it is
There’s nowhere to go
There’s nothing to accomplish
All is still
I simply am
That’ll do for starters. I know that goals are good but they’re far off in the back of my being right now. I’ll strive towards things in the future but at the moment I sense that I won’t be tied to the results. I know that I need to be concerned about injustice and to act appropriately when it comes my way, but that’s smaller than whatever this is.
Time for some specifics:
1. I haven’t written a blog post for 24 days. This morning that was a problem but not right now … There’s something bigger than the need to write to you.
2. What if I never write again? … There’s something bigger than ever writing again.
3. I have a cold and am all stuffed up … There’s something bigger than this discomfort.
4. My left foot hurts when I walk. I wonder if it’s plantar fasciitis. I’ve had it before … There’s something bigger than plantar fasciitis.
5. I want to lose weight in preparation for the 2018 Tour du Canada cycling trip. So far not much has happened … There’s something bigger than losing weight.
6. I want to improve my cardio and strength in preparation for the Tour. To this point, there’s just a bit of improvement … There’s something bigger than getting fitter.
7. I want to ride the Tour du Canada … There’s something bigger than crossing my country by bicycle.
8. I want to be in a loving relationship. I don’t see any potential life partner on the horizon yet … There’s something bigger than being in a romantic relationship.
9. I want to live in my new condo for many years … There’s something bigger than having a lovely home.
10. I love the kids in the Grade 6 class where I volunteer. I hope than some of them love me … There’s something bigger than being loved.
11. I love being around people and making them happy, making them laugh … There’s something bigger than spending time with human beings.
On one level, I don’t want colds and I do want to say good things to the folks I meet. Right now, though, I’m immersed in a sense of sufficiency that is just sitting here with me. Will it be on the bed when I wake up tomorrow? I don’t know. But there’s something beyond having this sweetness continue uninterrupted. The fact that it’s here right now suggests that it will come back after it leaves. And that’s good enough for me.