I’ve never met anyone who has a comma in the middle of their name, and I still haven’t … but here comes Alfred, Lord Tennyson.  He was a British poet who died long before I showed up – 1892.

(No, I didn’t show up then.  That would make me very old.  Mom delivered me in 1949.)

Alfred wrote Ulysses – a classic.  Some of his lines speak to me over the years and miles …

Come, my friends
‘Tis not too late to seek a newer world
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are
One equal temper of heroic hearts
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield

***

How about if we go there together, sailing beyond the sunset?  We can touch the Happy Isles.  With all the ebbs and flows of life …

Much abides

The expanse of yesterday is gone.  For much of the time, my vision had been radiating out from a centre – embracing all and everyone … 360 degrees.

Vividly emitting, projecting or exhibiting a strong quality, emotion or energy (like joy, confidence or warmth) that is clearly noticeable to others

I didn’t experience the “noticeable to others” part.  But the flow outwards was vivid.

When something or someone goes, I ask myself whether it will come back.  It’s unknown.  If I try to grab on, it’s like smoke slipping through my fingers … gone.

As the poster says (the one which graced my wall decades ago):

If you love something, set it free

If it comes back, it’s yours

If it doesn’t, it never was

I’m smiling now in the not knowing.  People, places, moments of brightness … float away.  Bye bye.  I would love you to come back.  And you may not.

Some presence created the human body … the female ones and the males.  It’s a good design.  I’m glad I have one.

I’ve noticed that my eyes are on the front of my head.  They look forward, with the range of sharp focus being pretty narrow.  That’s fine, I guess.  I can concentrate on the object in front of me.

Yesterday something new showed up, although I figure it’s been bubbling under the surface for awhile.

I started feeling 360 degrees, with my vision heading out in all directions.  As if my eyes encircled my head.  Like this …

Of course my physical eyes still point only forward, but something has changed.  I’m literally centered.  In my best moments, I’m including everyone and everything.  Naturally I have many other moments of ordinary consciousness.  However …

Right now I am 360

I embrace the experience while it’s here

And will remember it fondly when it leaves

Yesterday I stood in Gent centrum and watched about 12,000 people pass by … at various speeds.  I was cheering on my friend Petra and my friend Tessi (mother and daughter).  Twenty-one kilometres of running is an achievement.  I’m proud of them both.

I scanned a lot of approaching faces as I searched for the two I know.  Woh!  That tired me out … and I was standing still.

But here they came … faces were full of delight as their hands slapped mine.  I was afraid I had missed the moment, but no fear.  We met.

And then there was the flow of humanity:

The elite athletes … slim and fast

The slow joggers … a few occasionally stumbling

The hordes of firefighters … oxygen tanks strapped to their backs

The grey-haired folks … looking stiff in the joints

The bright-eyed ones … as they spot a beloved in the crowd

The intense ones … their arms rigid and a bit high

The zen floaters … their feet seeming a few centimetres above the ground

The mothers and daughters, fathers and sons … family all

A young man pushing a handicapped fellow in an adult-sized stroller … happy to help

Everybody … 12,000 bodies and souls, flowing together

I’ve had many mentors in my life, as in “experienced and trusted advisors who provide guidance, support and knowledge to a less experienced person” … me.

Mrs. Hudson – Grade 8 teacher at Bedford Park Public School in Toronto

Michael Bliss – history teacher at Lawrence Park Collegiate in Toronto

Jim Bayly – professor in the Carleton University School of Social Work in Ottawa

Joel Brass – psychologist and personal development seminar leader in Lethbridge, Alberta

Gordon Campbell – professor in the University of Lethbridge Faculty of Education

Greg Scharf – teacher at the Insight Meditation Society in Massachusetts, USA

Patricia Albere – founder of the Evolutionary Collective, based in New York City

Some of these marvelous human beings are dead.  Some are alive.  They’ve all been my captain … a teacher in the true depth of the word.

And when they leave this planet, the poet Walt Whitman helps me grieve and honour:

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red
Where on the deck my Captain lies
Fallen cold and dead

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells
Rise up – for you the flag is flung – for you the bugle trills
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths – for you the shores a-crowding
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck
You’ve fallen cold and dead

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread
Walk the deck my Captain lies
Fallen cold and dead

***

Rest in peace, dear ones

Ten minutes ago (now thirty), as I sat in Lloyd Coffee Eatery enjoying my cheddar and bacon bun, a woman approached me with a big smile.  I didn’t know her but I smiled back.

Something was “off” about her face.  The smile was real but her eyes weren’t touching mine.  And then I realized … she was smiling at someone sitting at the table behind me.  (Sigh)  The yearning for contact denied.

Sometimes I wonder if other people see me as “off” when I’m looking at them.  In my less brave moments, I don’t look softly into the depths of their eyes.  It’s more like the bridge of their nose.  Hmm … that’s not how I want to be – a subtle fear being stronger than love.

In my better moments, the two of us are so together in the eyes.  It’s peace.

***

I’ve met a few famous people in my life.  One was Archbishop Desmond Tutu.  He was speaking in a Toronto cathedral.  Afterwards we were invited to line up down the centre aisle to say “Hi” to the great man.  It was a long line.

Closer, closer … and I didn’t know what to say.  Now I don’t remember what I said.

As Desmond and I talked for a few seconds, a sadness fell on me.  He was looking over my shoulder the whole time, gazing down the line of people waiting for him.  (Sigh again)

***

A heroic human being

Coping as well as he could with celebrity

And a lost moment for both of us

My eyes have been following my TV screen to Prague in the Czech Republic.  There is gliding to be seen.

The women’s single competition is fine.  So is the men’s.  One person leaping into the air and rotating three or even four times before gently returning to the ice.  Exquisite.  And it doesn’t deeply draw my heart.

It’s the pairs competition that holds me close.  And there’s something far beyond what the judges seem to be focusing on.  They allocate points for the man throwing the woman into the air, and for him lifting her high while he skates on.  Those moves interest me but they don’t take my breath away.

One thing that the judges and I agree upon is the synchronization of woman and man doing the same series of jumps, a few metres apart.  If the follow through is perfectly in time with each other, there is joy in my heart – one arm extended forward, one leg extended backward.

However …

All this skill and timing pale before the ineffable, which seems to be a very fine word:

Something too great, intense or sacred to be expressed in words

But words are all I have here (other than photos).

A highly skilled couple from Germany came first, became world champions.  But a pair from Japan touched my heart.  Yuna Nagaoka and Sumitada Moriguchi.  All I have are scattered words:

Flowing

Curving

Dancing

Smiling

Loving

Yuna and Sumitada were the stars of my show

They shone

These are the founding faculty members of the University of Lethbridge in Canada.  It was 1967.

Take a look at the faces.  Is there one that shines?  Of course, your response may be different from mine.

Gordon Campbell was my Philosophy of Education professor in 1976 or so.  I am now clear: Gordon was the best teacher in my life.  He stands tall in the back row.

There were no exams in his course.  No papers.  Only an ongoing assignment …

“Every week, write something about connections you’re making between your life and what it means to be a teacher”

Unheard of in my short life experience.

***

I had loved studying Latin in high school (much to the amusement of my friends).  Finding the origin of words.  Here are two:

Indoctrination

“in doctrina” … putting teachings in

Education

“e duco” … drawing out what is inside

Gordon Campbell was an educator.

***

Two more words:

Charisma is a compelling, magnetic charm or personal quality that enables an individual to influence, inspire and attract others.

Having Presence means possessing a compelling, often magnetic, demeanor that makes a person immediately noticed, admired, or felt, regardless of whether they are speaking.

***

Gordon

No … “The Senses” is not some obscure British rock group.  It’s the five usual suspects of the body: seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching.

And maybe more.

In Buddhism, the sixth sense is the mind … which treats thoughts, memories and emotions as mental objects, equivalent to how the eye perceives sights or the ear hears sounds.

I’m used to seeing “Greatest Hits” collections of musical artists.  I wonder about the songs – greatest according to whom?

I am the only whom that I know well.  And therefore I humbly present to you my version of the body’s coolest things.  (Not to disparage the glories of muscles, blood vessels and other fancy stuff.)

Seeing

Eyes Meeting

Hearing

The Call of the Loon At Sunset

Smelling

The Scent of the Lilac Blossom

Tasting

Pesto Pasta

Touching

Two Hands

Thinking and Feeling

Love

It was 1961 or so.  I was 12 or so.  Mom and Dad had just bought me a turntable.  And it would play 33 LP records!  That is, 12-inch (30 cm) vinyl discs that spun at 33 1/3 revolutions per minute – a long play album that would hold about 25 minutes of music on each side.

This kid didn’t care about the technical stuff.  He wanted to play Buddy Holly in his bedroom.  Buddy was my hero … but he had died in a plane crash and my young sorrow was deep.  I would never see him in concert.

“That’ll Be The Day” hummed in my soul but still took second place to the immortal “Peggy Sue”.

Being an independent young man, and offered delightful moments of freedom by my parents, I got on my local Toronto bus which took me to the Eglinton Subway Station.  I was whisked away to the Dundas Street Station downtown.  And then a brisk walk on Yonge Street towards music mecca: the Sam The Record Man store.

I was on a mission.  I knew how to find Buddy amid the racks of musicians.  And there it came to my hands – The Buddy Holly Story.  I bought my first record album!

Back home, I zoomed upstairs to my room for a first listen.  Oh, joy!  Oh, delight!  Buddy wailing, lifting me way up high.

Later, I snuck down to mom’s kitchen, for I knew that one drawer contained a … microphone!  Here’s what it looked like:

In the hidden recesses of my home, right above the living room, I belted out the lyrics I loved …

If you knew Peggy Sue
Then you’d know why I feel blue
Without Peggy, my Peggy Sue
Oh well I love you gal, yes, I love you Peggy Sue

Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty Peggy Sue
Oh Peggy, my Peggy Sue
Oh well I love you gal, and I need you Peggy Sue

I remember loving the four pretties in a row.  Actually, I don’t need to remember.  I’m loving them right now.

***

And now, please journey back with me to the days of yesteryear

Take a listen …

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Zpni8tmIzaM&si=tkdWBdyhi_FmJd5S