A friend of mine is a student at U Gent and is immersed in study for his exams.  I’ll call him Jérome.

Two days ago, the format was a half-hour oral exam.  There were 600 pages to study and he was good for 400 of them, sketchy for the rest.

If I have my details right, Jérome had to select two questions to answer from twelve possible ones.  If it was in paper form, the questions would lie face down. 

Jérome picked two … both from the sketchy universe.  He answered.  He failed.

Jérome sat with me in the evening.  You can say what you want about shoulds.  He should have studied all 600 pages thoroughly.  The luck gods of the universe should have been kinder …

In any event, he failed the course.  And was peaceful about it.  Not a “Who cares?” attitude.  Not bitching about his luck.  Simply acknowledging that he didn’t get the job done, and that he’ll need to repeat the course in August.

I marvelled.  A lesson from the young one to the old one.

***

On Friday, I sing ten songs in a street concert.  What if I mess up?  If that happens, I’ll remember Jérome …

Perhaps sad

Definitely at peace

With a wee smile coming to my face

Sooner or later

So here you are, trying to cope with this person across the table.  He may be angry with you, or with a politician … or with life.

If you are the target, it’s pretty difficult in the moment to stay calm.  But perhaps an expanse of time will allow us to see newly.

Jack Kornfield, a teacher of Buddhist perspective, has something to say about this:

Each of us can find our own way to sense the underlying goodness in others.  One way is to shift the frame of time, imagining the person before us as a small child, still young and innocent …

Or, instead of moving back in time, we can move forward.  We can visualize the person at the end of their life, lying on their deathbed, vulnerable, open …

Here is the earlier and later man available to you and me:

Trying to figure things out

Trying to let go of accumulated woe

***

Do I have such eyes to see such things?

Or is the only image the one that stands before me?

If it’s good enough for Bruce Springsteen, it’s good enough for me.  A concert set list.

And so, voilà …

+++++++++++

Bruce Kerr

2026 Gent Tour

1.  It’s About Time
2.  Lovin’ Her Was Easier
3.  Paint The Sky With Stars
4.  Song For A Winter’s Night
5.  The Wings That Fly Us Home
6.  The Rose
7.  Remember When The Music
8.  When I Dream
9.  The Snows of New York
10.  The Parting Glass

Eyes + More, Langemunt

Gent, Belgium

+++++++++++

Tickets for my concert will be far cheaper than Springsteen’s … as in zero.  My band will be smaller … as in me.  The crowd won’t be 20,000 rabid fans … it’ll be shoppers heading to the next store.

However, in both cases there will be music.

I’ll start with a song about the world needing we far more than me (#1)

Then it’s on to the bittersweetness of lost love (#2)

The beauties of life in the nighttime (#3)

Alone in the wintertime, yearning for a loved one (#4)

The Spirit that is within us all (#5)

Do not despair.  Love is near (#6)

We made music in kitchens (#7)

A woman’s longing, sung by me (#8)

Remember me after you leave (#9)

A song to sing as I’m dying (#10)

***

On to Friday …

It feels like I’m going to say the same thing as I did yesterday, which would be boring.

But when I look at possible topics for today, only one shines – singing in front of Eyes + More on the Langemunt.  And so I compose …

On Saturday, there I stood in the “playing room” of Van de Moer Instruments, as Bert showed me how to use my brand new amplifier – a Roland Cube Street EX, also known as this:

There were knobs to adjust bass, mid and treble sound, as well as reverb, volume and power settings.  Plus lots of other stuff that I won’t need until my yearned-for future, when I’ll be accompanying my singing with the cello.

Mostly I was in Dreamland.  Simple instructions that were floating away on the breeze.

Bert suggested an excellent microphone (brand name unremembered) that would allow my lips to be several centimetres away from the mic and still create a fine sound.

And then I sang, with more excitement than fear.  I heard little imperfections in my voice that had gone undetected when I was unamplified.  So there were tiny spasms of disappointment.  But then there was a passage of deep notes, and the vibrations of my voice made me smile.  I’ll be fine on …

Friday

The amp, mic and mic stand will be delivered on Tuesday.  Friday is the next day that Virginie and Aude will both be working at Eyes + More.  They’ve been so supportive of my new life chapter, and I want them to be there for my first “concert”.

Hmm.  Why did I put the word “concert” in quotation marks?  I’ll try again:

I want them to be there for my first concert

That’s better.

Friday, June 5

About 11:00

Five to ten songs

And a little sign propped up on the mic stand:

I don’t want any money

Thank you

That’s to avoid confusion about there being no basket or hat or open guitar case.  Speaking of which, it’ll just be me and my mouth.  No instrument.

***

Did I mention?

I’m doing this!

No, that’s not me, but it soon will be … minus the guitar. 

I got a simple e-mail yesterday from the owner of Van de Moer Instruments:

Dear Bruce,

We have received the “Roland CUBE-StreetEX Speaker” you ordered.  It’s ready for you to be picked up.  See you soon!

Kind regards

Oh, my.  The beginning of a new chapter – me singing outside Eyes + More on the Langemunt in Gent, steps from my door.

After my Music Theory class today, I’m taking the bus to the store.  Dirk will show me how to adjust the dials on the amplifier, how to hold the mic, and probably a lot of etceteras.  I’m happy to be a newbie about amplified sound.

So here I am … on the edge of doing.  Dirk will ship the equipment to my home, and hopefully late this week marvelous lyrics and melodies will reach the shoppers on the Langemunt.

Yes

No longer just a dream

Stay tuned

Let’s start with the spoken word.  I listen to the vibration as people speak.  Some voices are soothing.  Some are intrusive.

Some languages bathe me in scented water.  French is one.  A musical word that fits here is legato:

“Tied together … played or sung smoothly and connectedly … flowing”

J’espère que le monde vous soignera bien

I hope the world takes good care of you

Some spoken languages jolt me.  They sound staccato:

“Detached … separated … notes that are played or sung sharply, making them short, crisp and disconnected from the notes around them”

I find Dutch this way.  It’s the major language in my home city of Gent, Belgium.

Ik hoop dat de wereld goed voor je zorgt

I hope the world takes good care of you

I know that my written words don’t give you a clear picture of the spoken words.  But the difference for me is striking.

If you look at the French sentence, a lot of the words end in vowels … soft.  In the Dutch one, the endings are mostly consonants, often hard ones such as k, p and t.

In both worlds, most of the people are nice

Still, I prefer to be lulled

Just as a peach begins as a hard, bitter fruit fastened tightly to the branch from which it hangs, so one’s sense of self takes shape in childhood and, if all goes well, matures as the years pass, growing firm and confident, holding tightly to the patterns of behavior and belief that nurture its inherent authority. 

But when one commits to a long-term monogamous relationship, or to parenting, or to spiritual practice, like the peach slowly ripening in the warm sun, this same sense of self gradually softens.  Bit by bit the mind relaxes its grip on everything that formally provided it with the illusion of security until finally one day it simply lets go of the branch and falls.

Someone wrote this.  I don’t know who.  I’m just glad it was written.

***

I know about being hard and unyielding

I know about being soft in the mouth and cool to the touch

I know something of the letting go and the falling through air

But I don’t know the big one

Taking my last breath

The sweetness on the tongue

The waving goodbye

Done

I can’t control the heat in my apartment, and there’s no air conditioning.  When I left home this morning it was 27°C.

(Sigh)

And so I am dull in the head and weak in the body.  Part of the “something going wrong” realm of life that we all know well.

What to do?  Or what not to do?  Writing this blog doesn’t take much energy, and I enjoy it … so here I am.

I planned on singing at an open mic session on Monday evening.  But the life force I could assemble was tiny.  I said no to performing and went to a movie instead.  No guilt.  Just a nod of the head acknowledging a good decision.  There was no energy in me to give the audience a fine song.

Another open mic beckons on Friday evening.  Since apparently the heat wave will last through Saturday, I won’t be there.  (Smiling)

It’s tempting to retreat from life right now.  To be in contact with nobody.  To receive life but not give any.  But no, I’m not going to do that.  I’ll write these blog posts.  I’ll find as much public air conditioning as I can find.  And I’ll wish people well.

Love them all.  Light the world

The first time I remember saying these words was at a long meditation retreat in Barre, Massachusetts, USA in 2017.  Since our time together was in silence, I said this message inside my head … to everybody in the meditation hall.

That’s what I can do right now …

Love them all.  Light the world

It’s a lot

It’s what I have to give

Even if no one notices

What does that word mean?  It seems clear … “an individual human being”.  How could a right-minded individual argue with that?

But in 1928 supposedly intelligent leaders of Canadian society did that:

The British North America Act of 1867 said that “qualified persons” could be appointed to the Senate.  The Government of Canada – and the Supreme Court of Canada –  interpreted the word “persons” to mean men only.

Emily Murphy, Nellie McClung, Henrietta Edwards, Louise McKinney and Irene Parlby challenged the decision.

They submitted a question to the Supreme Court of Canada: “Does the word ‘persons’ in Section 24 of the British North America Act include female persons?”

In April 1928, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled unanimously: No.

Women were not persons under the BNA Act.  They could not be appointed to the Senate.

It took time, but women’s rightful access to personhood was finally established.

Emily, Nellie, Henrietta, Louise and Irene became known as The Famous Five.  Sculptures of them stand in Ottawa, Canada’s capital, along with an empty chair … reserved for each and every one of us.

***

The mind boggles

1928 to almost 2028

And what of 2028 to 2128?

Bring on the future

This is André Rieu, a Dutch violinist and orchestra conductor, known for his lavish concerts featuring marvelous soloists – singers and players.

André shines.  And he’s had his share of both tough times and standing ovations.

I think of the words of Myokei Caine-Barrett, Shonin, a Buddhist master:

A sword is not made by being praised.  A sword is made by being hammered, heated, and plunged into cold water and hammered again.  The purpose of the hammering is not to destroy the metal.  It is to make the metal into a sword.  The purpose of a vow is to make us into a bodhisattva, and the bodhisattva is not one who has escaped suffering but someone who has learned to use suffering as nature.

André’s sword is his violin, and his smile, and his orchestration of inspiring concerts.  All have been accompanied by moments of ill health – a despair that touches us all.

You may ask about the meaning of bodhisattva … 

“It is the Sanskrit word for a being who is devoted to awakening and to acting for the benefit of all that lives.”  (Jack Kornfield)

André has benefited countless numbers of human beings, with his music and his soul.

And what of awakening?

“An awakening is a sudden, profound shift in awareness.  It most commonly refers to the expansion of consciousness.”  (AI)

***

Look at those eyes

Alive, piercing, encompassing

Eyes that touch others in the audience …

Play on, André