Well, I woke up this morning [Sunday] and that feeling of immense space was still with me. How about that? I felt some energy moving down my body, towards my stomach. A very quiet energy. The moments were there and there was nothing to add to them.
The morning cold was bearable but my body really turned it on in the p.m. No nose breathing that I could discover. And I was zooming along the 401 at 110 kph. Those two facts would normally have completely dominated my consciousness. But not today. There was a subtle current of ok-ness below. Scarlet was going so fast but I was very slow inside.
The space would often close in just as my nose did, sometimes as a car changed lanes right in front of me. But the stillness kept edging back into my drive. Sweet.
Now I’m watching the Nashville Predators battle the Pittsburg Penguins in the Stanley Cup Final. In the spirit of doing something about my problems, I’m shoving gobs of mentholatum up my nose. But still precious little breathing. And then there’s my stomach again – not a pain but a fine awareness down there. It’s as if my body is helping me recenter myself, again and again.
And now the softness is gone and I’m my closed nose again. Still I think of nasally normal moments in my future. Will I be able to access yesterday’s peace at will when my body isn’t distracting me? Maybe. But it seems to me that I can create other distractions pretty easily.
And so what if I’ll often be able to reach an open state of being? How can that better the world? Assuming that I’ll be able to do this (without effort), perhaps other people will resonate with the same energy. Maybe our minds will be so calm that our doing becomes a blessing.
Then again, all these musings could be so much horsepucky, the meanderings of a deluded one.
Shortly after the reference to horsepucky, I’d had enough vertical life and went to bed. Where I slept for the next twelve hours, nose and all. I’m up now and the spaciousness is gone. Well, let’s see. Maybe I’m wrong. I’ll go searching. But searching isn’t it. That’s just more effort. Peace is as clear as the nose on my face or it’s not there. No. Nothing. But that’s okay.
Y’all come back sometime …