Tag Archives: Value

It’ll Be Amazing

There’s TSN, and then there’s me.

TSN is a Canadian sports network. They telecast the Super Bowl yesterday but I didn’t watch. I don’t care about American football. But over the years I’ve enjoyed many of the commercials.

TSN had a recap today about all things Super Bowl, including the five best commercials from the game. I leaned forward on the couch, ready to be amazed. Sadly, I was not. I was not touched by any of them. Most were funny and light, but they didn’t make me pause and stare. The 30-second spots were no doubt effective in selling the product but I don’t care about that. I yearn for the possibility that those seconds could impact my life.

Here is TSN’s view of the best:

1. Singer Michael Bublé knocks on several doors, delivering cans of Bubly drink to the homeowners. They just don’t understand that the name is “Bublé”.

2. Man to woman: “Did you steal my Cheetos again?” Woman to man: “It wasn’t me!” The woman proceeds to throw the package out the window while being accused. Later she points to the cat as being the guilty party.

3. “I’m Drake from State Farm.” The famous one wears a red shirt identical to the one worn by the male actor beside him. Eventually, the actor puts his hand on Drake’s shoulder and says “Stand-ins don’t have lines.”

4. Seems like they’re selling car batteries in this one. A fellow (probably a celebrity) drives his car onto a ship and straight into a large storage container. He and his car reappear on a dock in a cutesy seaside village. On the phone, he lets his friends know “I’m in Norway!” A woman strolling by corrects him, however. “Norway? You’re in Sweden.”

5. Mike Myers and Dana Carvey from the film “Wayne’s World” are on a couch with a beautiful woman. They start singing “eat local”. Everybody changes costumes and jumps around. An Uber Eats box shows up at the end.

Maybe I’m missing something here. The recipe seems to be putting famous people in a silly situation and therefore making millions. (Sigh)

***

And then there’s this …

A woman is on her back, treading water. Then there’s another woman, answering the phone:

Mrs. Long? We’ve found a baby girl for your adoption but there’s some things you need to know. She’s in Siberia, and she was born with a rare condition. Her legs will need to be amputated. I know this is difficult to hear. Her life – it won’t be easy … Mrs. Long?

It might not be easy but it’ll be amazing. I can’t wait to meet her.

This one makes me smile

***

Jessica Long, 13-time Paralympic Gold Medalist swimmer

Toyota

Tomorrow, Death Comes

Ardently do today what must be done
Who knows?
Tomorrow, death comes

The Buddha

What if the rumour is true, that I will die tomorrow? First of all, I don’t have time for this. I need to pack for Belgium and Senegal. Secondly, I like a gradual approach to things. Knocking off in a few hours would be far too … spontaneous. Not to mention that I’d need to get my affairs in order first. And no, no – not that type of affair.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that I could die right now and be happy. No regrets. It’s been a fine life. I’ve touched many people and have welcomed their sweet influence in return. I have done my part in having the Earth be a better place. I’d prefer to have twenty more years of human contact but if the jig is up tonight, I’ll lie down with a grin on my face.

But back to tomorrow. If the sands run out at 4:00 pm, how will I spend my morning? If I had superdupersonic speed at my disposal, would I jet off to some vacation spot that I’m supposed to visit before I die? Hmm. Guess I need to give you an example:

Bora Bora is the poster child of the iconic tropical paradise. This island sits 143 miles northwest of Papeete, in the South Pacific, and features the extraordinary turquoise waters, white sand beaches, and beautiful greenery you’d hope to find in the tropics – only it’s more fantastic than you can imagine.

Would that do it? Surely turquoise would provide the ending bliss appropriate for an ending human being. I’ll just cram some turquoise inside and all will be well. Maybe.

***

Speaking of cramming, how about a sumptuous meal at the world’s finest restaurant, which as we all know is … Osteria Francescana – twelve tables in the heart of Modena.

Italian hospitality is in the details
the ironed tablecloths and the polished silver
It is an ensemble of gestures that define a way of life
The table is where the journey begins

Blah, blah, blah

But if I’m about to expire, do I really want to be loosening my belt so my stomach can breathe? To need a nap before the really lengthy one sets in? No thanks.

***

Okay, what else? I know … sex! Eight hours of orgasmic bliss with multiple Hollywood beauties? Uhh … then a short remaining life of being sore and exhausted. More sleeping needed, again before the big snooze.

***

So, if not these imposters … what is left to ardently do?

How about finding one open-hearted one
either male or female
and looking deep into their eyes until mine close
gazing upon the beloved as my finale nears?

Yes, that will do nicely