Day Thirty-Four: Closer

Last night, the Evolutionary Collective hosted an evening in which people could join us and experience what’s it’s like to be inside this shared consciousness together. I was talking to a couple about our work. I searched for a short statement that would sum up the EC’s impact on me. And it came: Now my natural tendency is to move towards people rather than away from them. My fear of differentness has faded away, replaced by an intense curiosity about what others’ lives are like, what their passions are, their visions. I find that when I speak about my journey, things often loosen between us, and the other person goes towards their experiences and discoveries.

My favourite moments are conversations with one other person, followed by three of us, and then being alone. That preference is so bright now. It doesn’t matter the personalities, ages, cultures, situations. Just let me linger in your eyes.

And yet more folks coming together can be magical too. In our session yesterday daytime, we did a practice that deeply hit home. We were in a group of eight – two standing in the middle back-to-back, and the rest of us circled in chairs. Our teacher Patricia Albere asked us to experience the threading – the weaving – of consciousness among us, flowing through both the standing ones and the seated ones. The pair would rotate together to meet the eyes of each of us. If Persons A and B started in the middle, A would sit down after a complete turn, replaced by C. B and C went around together, then C and D, D and E … We became an organism of eight cells, blending, weaving, caressing. It was lovely. It was human beings together rather than separate, each one so vividly particular and yet also breathing in the whole.

I received a compliment last night. I sat with a couple new to this work. She said that I exuded a sweet energy. She had first noticed it when I was greeting the newcomers at the street entrance of the building. My intention was to have each one feel welcomed from the first moment they set foot in the David Brower Center. She got it then … so did he.

I did my usual squirm in response to her words but happily it faded within seconds. All that was left was a beaming “Thank you” and a peaceful space emanating from something far larger than this Bruceness. We weave together … magic emerges … it’s a mystery that need not be corralled.

Day Five: Circles

Café 64 again. There’s a couple standing just inside the entrance. I glance up at them and before my brain can get into gear, I hear words inside my head: “the beloveds”. I sit back and wonder at my mind. How can it be that my thought-less expression saw strangers as most precious human beings? Such a mystery. And what is happening to me that I may be including everyone in my love?

(I wrote a little about Sunday on Sunday night. I’ve written nothing about Monday and the same for today. (Sigh) Plus memory is not my best subject. “That’s okay, Bruce. Just give ‘er a go.”)

Now it’s a dejà vu from Saturday. Family of four sits down. Two little kids. The boy starts playing on the floor. A waiter comes by and kneels down. “What’cha doin’? Is there magic stuff down here?” Boy smiles. A waitress joins in … on her knees. “Look at that. Gum!” Boy re-smiles. And I watch the consciousness of love show up in the employees and in the child and in us onlookers. Grace is catching.

***

Now, as I remember, there also was an orientation session on Sunday. May I remember some good stuff …

There was a time when I was sitting across from a woman and watching words bubble up in my experience. A friend of mine was standing behind me. I’ll call her “Jessica”.

I saw myself standing still. Other humans touched me at various points on my body. As each did so, my hand or elbow or calf would start melting and fall gently to the floor. I was dissolving, and the waves of energy took me apart. Soon, all that was left of me was my beating heart. All those hands reached out and squeezed the pulsing organ, feeling the in-and-out. Then my blood dripped between many, many fingers.

I think it was at that moment that a jolt of lightning lifted my body up and tipped my chair backwards. Jessica held to my shoulders and I righted the ship. “I’ve got you.” Spasms coursed through me. I shook, again and again. I smashed my knees together to stop the explosions, but that didn’t work. They subsided for a bit and then blew off their lid again. Jessica loved me.

Oh my.

At the end of the day, we were placed in a circle of eight people. While person number one took twenty seconds each to gaze into the eyes of us seven, the rest of us gently embraced him or her with our eyes. Music such as John Lennon’s “Imagine” rolled us through the silence.

Communion … person after person after person. Eight humans each being the centre of attention for seven others. It was a blessing, and continues to be in my memory. We were together in love. We are together in love.

Sometimes the moment brings me to silence. Such as right now.