I’m both.  At different times.

I’m afraid when people yell at me.  I used to be afraid when I had trouble swallowing, worried that I would die overnight, with no breath getting through.  I was also terrified when huge semi-trailers came close to me and my bicycle on the highway.

Then there are those other moments …

I was walking on the Langemunt yesterday, one of Gent’s shopping streets.  I was heading to the open door of Eyes + More, the optician where I bought my glasses.

On the street stood two muscular gentlemen in uniform, each with a gun on their hip.  Their clothing said “Loomis” … a company that transfers a business’ cash from their store to an armoured truck.

I walked up the nearest fellow and said:

Do you have any extra money?  I’m short of cash right now

The fellow looked down at me in a somewhat benign stare, grunted some word, and walked away.

I turned into Eyes + More to see “Alice”, an employee I know, with her hands to her face.

Bruce!  What are you doing?

“Well,” I thought, “not much really.  No big deal.”

I suppose Alice thought the tall guy was going to pummel me.  I never thought of that possibility.  I just wanted to make him laugh.  Didn’t happen.

***

I didn’t see courage

Boys just want to have fun

And as the American poet Walt Whitman said …

I am inconsistent

I contain multitudes