For many years, when I’ve sensed physical pain in my body, I put it on a scale of 1 to 10.

1 = hardly anything

10 = excruciating

Now I’m thinking of all the people I meet in my day.  Can I put the feeling of connection on the same scale?

An intangible, mutual bond where both individuals feel seen, heard and valued

And the answer comes … No.  I can’t feel “sort of connected”.  It’s there or it isn’t.

Many people see me with nouns or adjectives: customer, old, man, strange, fellow musician, Canadian, conversational …  And that’s okay.  But it’s usually not connection.

A “Zero” on the scale feels like being seen as a “thing”, rather than a human being.  Perhaps someone who can do something for them.

I sense a jump to “Five” … those who treat me courteously, without antagonism, and yet with a sense of distance.

And then the big jump to “Ten”:

It’s you and me!

No warming up to it.  No “slowly but surely”.  Instead …

Bam!

Contact

Love

***

I’ll hang onto 1-10 for pain assessment

The moment of love is an entirely different animal