I woke up this morning swimming in fear.  When I could breathe again, I had the thought that this was strange for a spiritually evolving human being.  But in truth … not so.  The human part of the being continues on its roller coaster.

The source of my fear is two hours of my afternoon.  I’m heading back to the Dutch Conversation Table at Amal – newcomers to the language trying out their speaking and listening.

Here I go again, for the fifth time, throwing myself into a situation where largely I don’t know.  I’m going towards the tension, the exasperation, the despair.  Does this make me a masochist?  No.  It says that I am brave.

***

I say words to myself.  They help me stay in the experiences I want for my life.  They assist me in having many moments of my day be animated, shone upon, vivid, true.

Love the fear

Hug the fear

In my better moments, I “go towards” whatever and whomever is with me.  That won’t be easy today at Amal but I shall persist.  I’ll be tender with my terror.  The image of lingering in a hug helps me.

Love them

Hug them in my mind

Everyone.  Every soul who passes before my eyes today.  The ones at Jagger’s, Et Alors, Amal, on the street, on the evening Evolutionary Collective Zoom call.  Wishing them great happiness.  No one left out, not even the ones who are mean or distant.  Not even … Donald Trump.

Loving me

Hugging me

I need to do this a lot.  It’s so easy to forget about this particular person.  He too is part of the human family.