“You’re never too much!”

That’s what a friend of mine said awhile back.  I know what she meant … that my expression of who I am need not be diminished.  Fear of being considered weird is just not worth it.  If I’m being kind and true to people, let the light shine.  No dimmer switch.

Of course my outpouring into the world must not include meanness.  Our planet doesn’t need any more of that.

***

Now here’s another discussion:  How much can I expect of myself physically?  How deep are my energy reserves?

Yesterday afternoon I went to an Amal Conversation Table – one native Dutch speaker and six newbies to the language.  For me it was two hours of intense focus – trying to understand, trying to compose sentences.

Three hours later I showed up on Zoom for a special ninety-minute meeting of the Evolutionary Collective.  Patricia Albere, the founder of the EC, was introducing new material and inviting us into practices – sometimes with one other person, sometimes with three.  I was fully engaged the whole time.

Immediately thereafter, I was the Zoom host for one of the regular EC calls.  The teacher teaches and I make sure everything works well technically.

I did pretty well but I made a few mistakes in areas where it’s usually easy for me. 

***

Hmm …

I wonder if there’s a lesson here.  Where does “too much” come in?  Maybe it’s all in my head, rather than my prolonged ability to concentrate.

Perhaps I’ll leave it up to the “mystery” of living a life.  Or maybe I’ll make changes.

Questions feel bigger than answers