“How Am I Doing?”

That’s been my mantra for decades, analyzing everything I do, how I’m feeling, everything that happens to me.  Putting all that on a scale from really good to really bad.  Exhausting!

A friend told me a few days ago “Why don’t you stop that … forever?”  Why not indeed.

What if I let go of the micro life and open myself to the wide open sky? Actually, I’m already pretty open but there are exceptions.

I asked myself “What is a thing or two that you can say goodbye to?  Can you pull yourself out of its groove?”

I came up with two areas of my life where I can do a grand experiment.  You’re looking at one of them.

My posts show up on Facebook after they appear on WordPress.  That platform keeps track of my views – daily and monthly.  Shall we say I’ve been obsessed with such numbers?  Intensely silly.  I would write a post like this and then consult WordPress here and there for the rest of the day. 

As April wound down, I set a goal of 1000 views.  I ended up with 1007.  I now sit here with a gigantic “So what?”

A waste of time … waste of energy, all in service to a skewed sense of self-esteem.

I hereby stop such foolishness

Another unlovely stat resides on my left wrist.  My Polar watch can tell me everything short of the future of mankind.  How many steps did I take yesterday?  “Good people take at least 10,000.”  How many calories did I burn?  How much sleep did I get and what was the quality of that sleep?  How well did I recharge overnight?  What is my average score for this, that and the other thing over the last week?


Do normal folks spend as much time as me looking at their wrist and the Polar app?  Then again, I have no ambition to be “normal”.

So what’s the verdict on experiment number two?

I hereby stop such foolishness


I wonder if there’s a number three …

2 thoughts on ““How Am I Doing?”

  1. Oh so very fascinating as always! I don’t have a watch but keep saying I need some sort of a tracker to motivate me. I do have a paper tracker, it is a book and I had write things in and then colour the square if I did whatever it was I am tracking. Then there are twitter algorithms my newest fascination…but you are correct time sucking to say the least! hmmm you always give me something to think about. thank you for that!

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