Nothing Has To Go Away

Ever since I moved in, the apartment above me has been empty. Last night there were many feet heading upstairs, carrying heavy things.

Footsteps on my ceiling, conversation until midnight on the terrace above mine. Life has changed.

And yet I woke up this morning with a thought on my lips: “Nothing has to go away.” May the pitty-pat from the floor above and the flow of people talking continue.

If there’s loud music at 3:00 am, my mantra may change to “Hardly anything has to go away.” But the essential truth remains.

The “hardly” part fits if I was in intense pain 24/7 but in general my health issues need not disappear: bursitis, fatigue, high blood pressure, aging (!) I’ll continue to do what’s needed about these problems but I’m okay if they continue to say hello.

I love someone. They don’t love me in the way that I love them. It hurts. And I give permission for that hurt to linger.

I’m the Zoom host on some internet calls. I often make mistakes. I do all I know to avoid them but if they return I’ll invite them in for coffee.

I feel all sorts of “bad” things: fear, anger, sadness. They’re welcome to stay in the same room with me. I’ll give them my best chair. Would I prefer that they don’t come calling? Yes. But I’ll smile at them a wee bit when they do.

I’m having a lot of long phone calls these days, dealing with financial issues. I get very tired and often confused. Part of life, I’d say … talking to companies, being put on hold, hearing the rep spurt out words that I don’t understand. All of that can stay too.

And now my quiet voice has more to say:

Please come here …

All of life welcomed

All held

All honoured

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s