Recently I’ve discovered a way of thinking that’s very helpful for me. But who knows if it will mean anything to other people? It represents a dilemma that any writer faces: Do you tailor your words to the expected audience or do you simply let loose with what’s in your mind? I don’t know. I want to reach people in my writing. That won’t happen if no one gets it. But then I shouldn’t assume that people won’t understand.

Okay. I’ll just say it.

I’ve asked myself if it’s possible to access whatever “a higher state of consciousness” is … instantly. For me the “higher” would be an experience of lightness, of spontaneous smiling, of profound connection with another person. I looked at the regular, usually boring moments of life and called them “Number One”. Things like shopping for groceries, walking across a busy street or doing my income taxes. There’s a focus on results, a pinpoint of time, a sense of cause-and-effect. It feels ordinary, necessary, the usual moments of our daily life. I know things.

Then there’s “Number Two”. These moments are broad, sparkling, often full of wonder and “not knowing”. Sometimes there’s disorientation, floating, a feeling of “Where am I?” I realize that last part doesn’t sound good but I’m coming to see that it is profoundly good. There are moments of meeting the eyes of another, of the mouth dropping open in communion with them, of being brought to a sacred silence, even as we keep speaking. Number Two.

As recent months have unfolded, I’m often finding that simply by saying “One … Two” my mind switches to the wide open sky, to the sweetness of “being with” another, to disintegration, subsiding, falling with the eyes closed. My experience passes through a gossamer curtain, from “small’ to “big”. I see this as neither good nor bad. It’s just here.

Many times, simply saying “One …Two” creates nothing – no new lightness. But then there are all those other times!

I’m sitting now with the mystery of it all

Something far bigger than me is at work

I’m along for the ride