Exhibit A:  I was on a Zoom call yesterday for several hours with fifteen folks.  I received a compliment about the quality of my consciousness.

Exhibit B:  My dream last night was about me managing some large meeting.  First thing in the morning, in a separate building from the gathering, I loaded lots of coffee into a large coffeemaker and plugged it in.  When I got back to the meeting room, I realized that I hadn’t added water.  It felt like I spent the rest of the night roaming the city, trying to find the building.  Terror gripped my soul.

It certainly looks like A is more fun than B.  Sometimes it feels like my life is a ping pong game … bouncing back and forth between the two – “positive” and “negative”.

The truth is that my eyes look inward a lot, in the spirit of “How am I doing?”.  Do you think it’s possible to let go of all that?  To not keep a a running tally of my daily excellences and futilities?

Perhaps I can instead direct my gaze at the world and the multiple beloveds who live here.  What do I see?  How can I serve in this very moment?  Perhaps it doesn’t matter what comes back to me in life and my assessment of that … only what I give to life.

Am I naïve?  Hopelessly out of touch with the way the world works?  I wonder.

Look everywhere to see everything!

Mehmet Murat ildan