Exhibit A: I was on a Zoom call yesterday for several hours with fifteen folks. I received a compliment about the quality of my consciousness.
Exhibit B: My dream last night was about me managing some large meeting. First thing in the morning, in a separate building from the gathering, I loaded lots of coffee into a large coffeemaker and plugged it in. When I got back to the meeting room, I realized that I hadn’t added water. It felt like I spent the rest of the night roaming the city, trying to find the building. Terror gripped my soul.
It certainly looks like A is more fun than B. Sometimes it feels like my life is a ping pong game … bouncing back and forth between the two – “positive” and “negative”.
The truth is that my eyes look inward a lot, in the spirit of “How am I doing?”. Do you think it’s possible to let go of all that? To not keep a a running tally of my daily excellences and futilities?
Perhaps I can instead direct my gaze at the world and the multiple beloveds who live here. What do I see? How can I serve in this very moment? Perhaps it doesn’t matter what comes back to me in life and my assessment of that … only what I give to life.
Am I naïve? Hopelessly out of touch with the way the world works? I wonder.
Look everywhere to see everything!
Mehmet Murat ildan
