Why not? What’s the purpose of keeping it shut, worried about what some person might think? Silly. Let the real Bruce flow. Some will love me for it. Some will be disgusted. Some will be afraid. I welcome them all.
Halfway through this morning, the bell rang to announce the beginning of recess. I mentioned to Jeremy that I was going to Toronto next week to see the same concert twice: a tribute to the Canadian singer-songwriter Stan Rogers, who died of smoke inhalation in a plane in 1983. Perhaps strangely (you decide), I’m doing the same thing this week, with the target of my affection being Leonard Cohen.
Jeremy didn’t know Stan’s music but immediately went to YouTube for the song I mentioned, one that some people think should replace “O Canada” as our national anthem: Northwest Passage.
Ah, for just one time
I would take the Northwest Passage
To find the hand of Franklin reaching for the Beaufort Sea
Tracing one warm line
Through a land so wide and savage
And make a Northwest Passage to the sea
Three or four kids had stayed in at recess, working on their poetry homework. Hearing Stan’s deep baritone voice again sent me away. I started singing the chorus … full-throated, nothing held back. It was Stan and me and the kids. A couple of them gaped. One smiled. I kept singing. At one point, I was so happy that I threw my cell phone about three feet in the air (and caught it on the way down). Not a wise move, I agree, but the feeling of free coursed through me. My cells were singing too.
Next was The Mary Ellen Carter. I sang. Then 45 Years (Stan’s love song to his wife). I sang. Kids watched. All was well.
***
Tonight was the Quarter Auction at the arena. Two hundred women and me. Actually, there was another guy. He was one of the many vendors spread around the perimeter of the room. These folks were selling cool stuff for the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. Not a single item for the garage. That’s okay. As a general statement, I like women more than men.
Each item to be auctioned required a bid of a quarter or two. Then we’d hold up our paddles and see if our number was called. I sat with “Barb” and her two daughters plus two of her friends. I kept putting too many quarters in the little bowl, just for fun. When my companions weren’t looking, I’d slip quarters into their little purses, just for fun. And when the announcer corrected herself from “Ladies” to “Ladies and One Gentleman”, I leapt up with a “Yes!” That was fun, too.
Towards the end of the evening, I heard “78”, which just happened to be my number. I jumped up, slammed my paddle on the table and skipped over a woman holding the necklace I’d won. People cheered and laughed. Me too.
There was a gorgeous blue stone set in the pendant. Since I didn’t have a thing to wear with it, I gave it to one of Barb’s daughters. She smiled. Me too.
***
So it’s been a day.
I might as well throw myself out there into the world. What’s there to lose? Maybe blending, shrinking, averaging. I can let those go. Expressing is far more fun.