I decided to do two hours on the elliptical yesterday afternoon. No sweat, I thought, since I’d done much more than that recently. The first hour was smooth. A good rhythm and I felt strong.
On we go to Part Two. And I started well. Somewhere around twenty minutes, though, something was wrong. My arms slowed, my legs slowed, and I swear my brain slowed. My breath was no longer silent and the weight of the world pressed on me. “How can this be?” I’d eaten enough, had a good sleep, and felt happy. But I continued to spiral down. forty-five minutes, I stopped.
And then it was time to choose … an attitude.
A. You’re a weak and uncommitted and just plain bad person.
B. For some unknown reason, you don’t have it today. This says nothing about you as a person. Accept what is.
A smile came as I chose Option B. Sure I was disappointed but life keeps showing me its yins and yangs. O great imperfect one … celebrate it all.
Last night I watched eight short films at the Wolf Performance Hall in downtown London. One lasted just ten minutes but will stay with me considerably longer than that. It was about a figure skater. We saw her being interviewed and the woman’s face was vibrant. As they say, “Her smile reached her eyes.” And the skating! In a glowing dress, our heroine spun and floated, radiant on the ice.
Then there was the matter of her age … 91. She winked and said that she doesn’t fall much anymore. Good thing, I thought. Over the last few years, she’s won several medals in her age group – 50 and above.
After our skater had finished her comments for the film, words appeared on the screen: her date of birth … and her date of death. Most of the two hundred of us present let out an audible “Aww.” I so much wanted her to still be alive. And then more words: “She died as she lived – on the ice.”
I thought of my earlier weakness. I thought of her thoroughly alive face. Definitely something to learn here.
Who am I to play small? I know someone twenty-two years older who rocked the house every time she did a spin.