The Athletic is a very cool website that gives me fresh insights about sports teams, especially the Toronto Maple Leafs. The ranks of sportswriters at some daily newspapers have been decimated lately, and The Athletic has scooped up some really fine journalists.
I don’t know if I’ve ever written a letter to the editor but now I can comment on stories online whenever I want. Except for one thing: reader comments at The Athletic are linked to any existing Facebook accounts. I deleted Jody’s account months ago but when I pressed “Send” my words appeared under the banner “Jody A” accompanied by a lovely photo of my dear wife. I stared at the screen in shock.
So what’s happening here? Do I want to eliminate all remembrances of Jody from my life? Not at all. Do I want to be my own person, with an identity separate from being half of a couple? Yes.
It feels like there’s a time and place for everything. And now is not the time to be perceived as “Jody A”. There was a time when I’d laugh at such things but not now. Way back when, during my first marriage, I got a chuckle one day when I was digging letters out of the mailbox. “Mr. Rita Kerr” said the envelope. It was strange, though, the same oddness women used to experience a lot, to the tune of “Mrs. Bruce Kerr”.
After that first jolt at The Athletic, I haven’t let myself make comments on stories with Jody’s face looking at me onscreen. Silly, I guess, but powerful. Staff at the website worked hard to get rid of her photo, and they did it, but I still let “Jody A” stop me.
I was awake this morning at 3:00 am. Very unusual for me. I wasn’t tense about anything. I had worked out on the elliptical yesterday and was quite tired. “Oh well, guess I’ll check e-mails.” And there was Andrew’s message: “I’ve updated your account to remove the name.” Oh, supreme joy! I opened The Athletic and searched for an article, any article, to comment on. Found one comparing the progress of the Leafs to the Buffalo Sabres. That’ll do. The accompanying photo was striking so I talked about it. And then the magic “Send” moment.
And what to my wondering eyes should appear … but “Bruce A”!
I am not Jody
I am not half of Jody and Bruce
I am me