It feels like I wrote about this same topic a few weeks ago.  My yappy voice says that therefore I shouldn’t repeat myself.  But I don’t care.  I was walking home from breakfast at the Belmont Diner today when this thought once more exploded in my brain:

It doesn’t matter what comes back to you in life
All that matters is what you put out there

It feels like a cozy new age message but no, it’s a world beyond that.  As I sauntered down the snowy sidewalk, joy wrapped itself around.  “It doesn’t matter.”  The pains will continue when they do.  The sadness, the fear, the loneliness will still come calling.  And none of that directs me.  Waves of energy roamed behind my eyes on Main Street and fell down my face.  “You are free,” spoke the quietness inside.

“No, I’m not free.  That’s ridiculous”

“You are free”

“No.  I’m bound by self-esteem issues”

“You are free”

“No.  I’m bound by what other people say and do”

“You are free”

“No.  I’m bound by what my body chooses to do”

“You are free”

“No”

“Yes”

***

I’m sitting on my couch, thinking about going to yoga class tonight.  The mouth tightens.

“I’m so inflexible … can’t get my knees anywhere near the floor”

“You are free”

“You’re not strong enough to do most of these poses”

“You are free”

“You can’t even balance on one leg”

“You are free”

“Your fellow yogists see your flaws, and are critical”

“You are free”

***

“And about that bike ride of yours this summer … you suck”

“You are free”

“You don’t even have the balance to get your water bottle out of its cage”

“You are free”

“Too old, too weak, too far”

“You are free”

***

“You’re alone in life”

“You are free”

“You’ll never be in a committed relationship again”

“You are free”

“You’ll never have sex again”

“You are free”

***

Quite a persistent voice, wouldn’t you say?
Perhaps I should listen