I’m used to the mellow energy of meditation. Quiet and all-encompassing at times. Nothing that I would describe as “powerful”. But today’s been different.
I’ve been working out a lot on the elliptical at the gym, to get ready for my cross-Canada bicycle trip this summer. Usually, at the end of an hour of sweating and swinging my limbs every which way, I’m pooped. But this morning, after the workout, and after I drove home, there was a tingle inside. I headed out the front door for the 20-minute walk to the Belmont Diner and soon energy flooded me. Yes, it was POWER. My head felt “big”. Something was coursing through me, pushing out from my heart. I expected that I’d look in the mirror and see a 6 feet four hulk … hopefully not green. I walked fast, feeling that if a car careened towards me, I’d just flip it over my shoulder.
At the restaurant, I was even more talkative than usual. I wasn’t an idiot. I wasn’t argumentative. I just felt this great urge to talk about stuff that’s important to me … and I did.
My body felt strong, like I could tackle the Tour du Canada today, average 30 kph (good luck with that!), and burn up the hills. I know I’m getting fitter but this surging flow was brand new. And yes, I liked it.
This afternoon, I volunteered in the Grade 5/6 class. Tiffany, the teacher, asked me to read a chapter from The City of Ember, a science fiction novel. The characters included Doon and Lina, two 13-year-olds, and an assortment of quirky adults. I had the best time pulling on different voices. At one point, someone in the book yelled, so I followed suit, scaring a kid or two. I was intensely “there”, tender and snarly in turns as I inhabited the folks of the novel.
Basically I felt “fierce” all day, like my chest was about to burst my buttons, like I could have lifted my own body weight … no problem.
So it was another rich life experience, knowing I can be intense as well as sublime. And I decided that I like all of it.