I was walking by the junior kindergarten door on my way to volunteering with the Grade 6’s. There seemed to be a flurry of activity inside. I wandered into the comings and goings of short people and saw that the class was having a spa day … hair makeovers and pretty nails.
A 5-year-old hairstylist invited me to take part. I was ushered to a tiny chair and covered with a tiny plastic apron. Then the clothes pins. At least ten of them were artfully placed through my short grey hair. After much debate, my two stylists declared that I was ready for the world. Except for the nails.
Across the classroom I floated to the nail salon. A palette of colours was presented to me by a young esthetician. “I’ll take pink.” That would go well with my glasses and fitness tracker. Soon a brush laden with water-based paint descended towards my digits. A few minutes later and I was as pretty as punch.
An assistant walked me to the floor fan, where my fingers dried. Gosh, I looked good. I really should go the spa more often.
I traipsed over to the Grade 6 classroom, where eyes widened upon my approach. A couple of guys said, “That looks really good, Mr. Kerr.” I wasn’t totally convinced of their sincerity, but there were lots of laughs too.
It was time to head home from school. I was scheduled to visit a 92-year-old resident of a seniors residence with her niece, my friend Pat. I asked a few 12-year-olds if I should lose the accessories and got a mixed response. A few said dump it all, some said yes to one and no to the other and a couple of adventurous souls thought I should show her the whole enchilada. So a full meal deal it was. Was Thelma going to have a heart attack? I’d soon find out.
On my way to London, I dropped into the Belmont Diner, my favourite haunt. It pretty much came down to women laughing and men staring. Not to be thwarted, I approached a few guys, telling them that they too could look like me. All of them declined.
I was walking towards the front door of the home when I saw a woman sitting in a wheelchair. I asked her if I looked good. She said something fun and positive. And I went off looking for Pat. It turns out that the woman was Thelma. I hadn’t seen her for 45 years.
The three of us sat in the lobby, enjoying coffee and tea (and cookies!). Residents and staff came by, for some reason looking at my hairstyle. I got many compliments and smiles. I told them that it was the latest style from Paris. I’m sort of a cutting edge guy, you know.
So … no heart attacks and lots of happiness. I should see my young stylist more often.
Back in Belmont, I had a ticket to a community dinner in my hot little hand. It was at the arena, at the far south end of town. I’m at the north end, about a 25 minute walk away. So again the question was yes or no. I voted yes.
The walk southward was uneventful, just a few quizzical looks from passersby. The real test was my entrance to the arena’s meeting room. There must have been 150 folks chowing down when I walked through the door. (Actually the door was open). Immediately there was a mélange of raised heads and icy stares. A few giggles. I went over to my friend Rosemary to tell her my story. She knows me well so I don’t think my coiffure was any big surprise. Later she told me that several people had come up to her to see if she knew that man. I’m pretty sure she didn’t disavow all knowledge of the human.
I saw a lot of men with arms crossed as they no doubt contemplated my sanity. Women don’t seem to cross their arms so much but they too were curious. I explained myself to my tablemates and really enjoyed heading out on the dance floor to get more baked beans or another glass of orange drink. Hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it!
Finally, I started visiting the residents of other tables, and the warm-ometer needle gradually rose. After hearing me yap away about JK kids, I guess the adults realized I was a benign character.
So there’s my adventure. It could be that a hundred people laughed at me. Not a bad day’s work.