I’m thrilled that the lot where my new home will stand backs onto a farmer’s field. It’ll be corn this year and beans the next. Beyond the field, the land slopes up so my horizon is dotted with farm homes and silos. Oh my. I love long views and come September I’ll have one.
As an expression of obsession, I showed up yesterday after sunset. The sky was still pink to the west and the spread of clouds above me covered the world. I was in big sky country. Dots of farmstead lights comforted me … my neighbours were home, enjoying their cozy living rooms and kitchens.
But what’s that? A flashing dot of red way to the north. I contracted. It was the same reaction as I have seeing flashing Christmas lights on a house – no! It brought up pictures of industry, stores and a frantic pace. That’s not what I want. But it’s what I will have.
I watched my body and my feelings fall on the negative side. “Just be with it, Bruce.” And I did. The beat was slow, maybe 40 a minute. As I gazed northward for awhile, there came a shift in energy, just a bit at first but then a stream and then a flood. The light was love. It was a heart. It was Jody. It was all the folks that I hold dear. I kept looking. The speed of the city intruded a bit but then gradually faded into the rhythm of life.
As I explored the perimeter of my lot in the darkness, I discovered that at certain points trees hid the telecommunication tower. No red. Disappointment … glee … disappointment. So in the fall I’ll be able to embrace the heart or let it step aside. To see a symbol of civilization or to feel the farms. Life will rush towards me either way.