That’s the sound of me laughing at myself. I’m so not good at mechanical things, electrical things … lots of things.
Exhibit A: lawn tractor and air compressor
It was time to cut the lawn for the first time this season. I’ve fantasized about my dear neighbours working on placards in their basements, with nifty slogans such as “Move your ass on the grass” and “Kerr forest growing daily”. So I started the lawn tractor in our backyard shed and drove it past the house to our driveway. At which point the front right tire came off its rim.
The tire was looking squished under the weight of the tractor so I took the jack out of Scarlet, our Toyota Corolla, and got the tire into the air. There! See, I’m mechanical.
Jody and I bought an air compressor a few years ago and happily I remembered where I had stored it. Not so happily, the machine’s manual has flown the coop. Jody was really organized and had alphabetical files for each of our outdoor apparatuses. (Is that a word?) But “compressor” or “air” were nowhere to be found. Oh, Bruce, where did you leave that thing? And then … “Ha! Ha! Ha!” It’s so comforting to laugh at my foibles. Too bad it’s taken me six decades to get to this point. Oh well. Perhaps an averagely handy guy would know how to operate the compressor, but that’s not me. I was especially put off by the warning labels: danger this and danger that. I phoned the 1-800 number for Rona – the store where we’d bought the beast. “We don’t have manuals. But your compressor was made by Black and Decker. Try them.” I did but nobody was at home at 6:05 pm. Mañana.
I now sit reflecting on my lack of male skills, smiling as I do so. I have many good qualities. They just don’t happen to include household maintenance.
Exhibit B: TV audio
Jody and I had owned an XM radio for years, and sometimes listened to it in Hugo (our Honda CRV). But not much recently. So a month ago I cancelled the subscription and had an audio store remove the hardware. Just before I went to Belleville, I decided to get the family room in order, so I got rid of the XM radio docking station that was connected to our TV and sound system. Simple really … all you have to do is pull some cables out and voilà – no XM. Also no sound from the TV, Playstation 3 or sound system. (Sigh) I looked at the ports – audio in, audio out, serial data, IR emitter … Gosh. What came from where? I had no clue then nor now. A week without TV hasn’t killed me but there were a few shows I had wanted to watch.
And now it’s time once again, ladies and gentlemen, for “Ha! Ha! Ha!” I just don’t have a clue. Humbling life is, wouldn’t you say? May I ever smile at all the “not knowing” in my life.