Tag Archives: Spirituality

Mount Lineham: View from the Top

It was 1969, and I had just taken the train from Toronto to start work in the mountains, at Waterton Lakes National Park, Alberta.  Every day off from the hotel was a hike – slopes that this Ontario kid had never experienced.  My new friend Vince and I decided one day to take the Rowe Lakes trail.  The turquoise waters of Lower and Upper Rowe Lakes beckoned.  Partway along the trail up the valley, the trees parted, and a scree slope presented itself on the right, drawing our eyes up and up to the top of Mount Lineham.  Vince and I looked at each other and knew what our next free day would be about – straight up the slope to the first mountain peak experienced by kids from Regina and Toronto.

And that’s what we did, not realizing that loose rock and gravel meant two feet up and one foot down.  So naive, and so eager.  Hour upon hour fell to our feet, and our breaks revealed the beauty of the mountain on the other side of the highway below us.  Each time we rested, that other mountain showed us its secrets – masses of evergreen yielding to scraggly pines, fields of scree, and tiny waterfalls.

Looking back up at Lineham, we wilderness virgins got to experience the “false summit” phenomenon.  What looked like the top from our angle simply wasn’t.  And it continued not to be … until …

The last hundred feet to the summit was an agonizing slog.  Breathing in loud gasps, we saw Alpine Forget-Me-Nots and orange lichen pass slowly beneath us.  And back the other way, we were just below the summit ridge of the neighbouring mountain.  I was nearly crawling, until finally the steepness lessened and lessened, till ahead we saw a plateau maybe twenty feet across.  Thirty steps to go … twenty … ten … three … and we stepped onto the top of the world.

A panorama of snow-capped peaks was suddenly all around us.  They stretched to four horizons, seas of white.

Silence from Vince.  Silence from me.  For many minutes.

***

In my todays, Mount Lineham remains.  Years ago, I read a description of “ah-ha” moments in a book.  The writer asked us to imagine being inside a tent, staring at the four brown walls.  Then some magical force grabs the ridgeline and hauls the canvas up and away, revealing a sublime beauty.  For me, it’s the beauty of the mountains surrounding Lineham on that sunny June day in 1969.   Whenever I want to, or really whenever I’m present enough to, the ordinary moments of my life are animated with white, and I’m welcomed to a vastness beyond words.

I Love You

Spouses and lovers holding hands on the couch, slipping into each other’s eyes.  A little girl and a little boy sitting on the asphalt, her hand over his bleeding knee.  A big slobbery dog smiling up at his master, wagging his tail wildly.  All love.  And at the deepest, I feel, no different from one another.

For me, when I love, there is a quietness in my body.  It’s like all the cells have come to a halt.  And there’s a “shimmering down” vibrating from my head southward, a little ripple of contentment.  They are feelings that often descend when I’m with my wife Jody.  But they can also show up in the classroom, on the highway, in the mall.  Sometimes I shimmer when I see kindness flowing from one human being to another.  Occasionally, I’ve felt love after reading the written word, even messages from people I’ve never met.

I’ve ended some e-mails with “I love you”, and it’s felt totally right.  Me aiming something at you.  When I’m less brave, I write “With love”.  Coming back to me, I usually see “Love” or “xoxo”.  Hardly ever “I love you”.  And that’s fine.  I bet there’s a shimmer behind the word.

I’m scared to say “I love you” in person, but on occasion I’ve girded my loins and uttered the phrase.  Why is it so hard to speak those three little words?  They’re such blessed words.  I wonder if people come my way in life who have never heard them.  I need to say them, and act in a way that expresses the love I feel.

There’s a song by John Prine called “Hello In There”.  Here’s a sample:

So if you’re walkin’ down the street sometime
And you should spot some hollow ancient eyes
Don’t you pass them by and stare
As if you didn’t care
Say “Hello in there. Hello”

Indeed.