I like reading articles about cycling. A few days ago, I saw this:
Stevie Williams is living his dream. At home in Andorra, deep in the mountains, the Welshman is enjoying a rare few days of respite in between travelling home from Canada and heading to Switzerland for the Road World Championships.
For Stevie, I expect that home is both where he started (Wales) and Andorra, where he now lies down to sleep. I wonder which place draws him more.
I teeter on that edge – Canada and Belgium. Actually it’s Canada and Gent. I don’t yet hold Brussels or Antwerp close to my chest.
And today’swinner is … Gent!
At first I skipped over certain words from Stevie, but now they linger: “travelling home from Canada”.They jolt me. I’m in a new world … while still smiling about the earlier one.
And then there’s Paul:
Paul Seixas from France won the Junior Individual Time Trial race at the Road World Championships in Zurich. “Junior” means ages 17 or 18. He’s singing La Marseillaise – eyes closed and hand over his heart. He’s home in his soul.
Why do these profs assign so many readings? Sociology, Psychology, Literature. My fingers are so tired of turning pages.
There’s No Time To Read (1979)
I’m teaching at Lethbridge Community College. I need to prepare for classes. When I’m not working hard, I need to relax, not dive into pages.
Non-Fiction Books About Cycling (2000)
I’m enthralled with professional cycling in Europe. I devour books about famous riders, the Tour de France, the history of the sport.
There’s A Novel … (2005)
I’m staying at the home of my in-laws Lance and Nona, with a view of the Canadian Rockies out their living room window.
I see Nona pouring over a fat book at the kitchen counter. It’s Under TheDome, Stephen King’s latest novel. Inside my head I hear “Not for me … all that horror. I want to sleep at night.”
Up early the next morning, I spot the hardcover sitting on the counter. I open it. I read the first ten pages. My eyes open wide. I’m hooked! (How can this be?)
Within The Mind Of Mr. King (2009-2020)
Twenty King novels pass through my fingers and mind. Oh, the characters that he creates! I love them.
Reading To Jody As Death Approaches (2014)
She loved Christine, Stephen’s story about a car that repairs itself … and kills people.
Enough! (2021)
I don’t want to read anymore. I want to lighten my life. I give away all my books.
My Friend Is An Author (early 2024)
I enjoy talking to my friend Michelle in Izy Coffee. She mentions writing mystery novels with some guy in the USA. That’s nice.
I Wonder What Her Stories Are Like (later 2024)
We talk. The hero of all four books is Judas Iscariot. He’s immortal. His first adventure is in London, as he tries to find out who Jack the Ripper is.
Amazon (three weeks ago)
I’m buying Murder in Whitechapel, Michelle’s first book. And after it arrives … I’m on the couch, page-turning into the mystery. The writing is really good! I’m reading!
I Remember You, Stephen (ten days ago)
You contributed to my life for years. I wonder if that may include 2024. I order your latest novel Holly.
Hooked Again (now)
I just finished Holly. It’s been a detective adventure of love and serial killers. Mr. King has returned to my heart … along with stories on the page.
I started writing Bruce’s Blog on June 20, 2014. WordPress is the platform I still use. A few years into my journey, I started copying the posts into Facebook.
And here I am today, tapping away on my 2000th message to you.
I’m happy.
I don’t get many likes or comments but I trust that my thoughts are reaching people. Still, I’ve had my times of despair. Partway down the road, I decided that no one was reading my stuff, and I quit writing … for sixteen months.
I kept hoping that someone would get hold of me to say “Where did you go? I miss your writing.” My memory is that no one said a thing. (Sigh)
I can’t remember why I chose to begin again but I’m glad I did. Even if the evidence of you listening isn’t strong, I will continue.
Daytime is usually … reasonable. There’s a basic pattern to it as our daily tasks unfold. There are surprises, of course, but they’re still in the realm of what we know.
When I step out on my street called the Oudburg in the morning, I know that my neighbour Lieven may be sitting on his chair, or often not. But I’m pretty sure I won’t wake up to find that his building has disappeared.
But what about nighttime? My life moves from the vertical to the horizontal. I may toss and turn some, but I’ve come to expect that, as well as my need to pee at least twice overnight.
As for those other hours of darkness … I don’t know. I have lots of dreams – many of them so detailed, and some of them remembered. Where exactly am I when they’re showing on my personal movie screen? Hmm.
I’ve heard about REM sleep and deep sleep but as far as I know I’ve never watched myself do that stuff, especially the part where my eyes are moving behind my lids.
Okay, all of that is fine, but the question remains …
Where do I go?
I wonder if Google can help me. I’ll enter “Where do I go when I’m sleeping?” in the search box and see what happens.
***
Ah hah! Some “Assistant” has answered me. Here’s “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth”:
Philosophically and spiritually, different cultures and belief systems offer varied interpretations. Some traditions suggest that the soul or consciousness may travel to different realms or dimensions during sleep. This idea is often tied to concepts of astral projection or spiritual journeys, where the soul explores other planes of existence.
Okay then. There you have it. I’m out and about in the wee hours, roaming through some never never land.
It’s 2024. There are all sorts of people to talk to … and I often do. But I’d like to buy a time machine. Perhaps IKEA sells the latest model.
I want to have coffee with human beings from long ago. Pizza would also be nice. I want to know what their lives were like. Or are like. “What thrills you all to bits? What stops you in your tracks? What do you wonder about? What brings tears to your eyes?”
Etcetera
“How come you lived so long ago, and here I am … in the Now?”
Here’s a woman whom I wish I had known. We would have had so many cool conversations.
Dipa Ma was a Buddhist teacher from India. She was around four foot nothing (122 cm) and a giant among the open hearts of the world. Our lives overlapped by forty years (1949-1989) but I never met her. We both climbed the entrance steps of the Insight Meditation Society in Massachusetts … but not at the same time.
In the last few weeks, my spiritual practice has centered on loving the people I pass in the street or see through the windows of Izy Coffee.
Here’s what Dipa Ma says:
Bless those around you. If you bless those around you, this will inspire you to be attentive in every moment
I once had a friend take photos of objects that looked like letters of the alphabet. She created a collage that spelled out “Welcome everything.” They are words I yearn to live by.
Here’s what Dipa Ma says:
Whatever comes in life, I embrace
In my better moments, I see that what’s important is what I put out there into life. Attitude, perspective, connection – fine words like that. It doesn’t matter what comes back!
John Denver wrote this song for his wife Annie while he was on a ski lift in Aspen, Colorado. John loved the mountains. John loved life.
Long ago. I sang this ode to love, adding the Irish Blessing as a third verse. It fits.
Annie’s Song makes me happy. I will sing it soon for those who would like to listen.
You fill up my senses like a night in the forest like the mountains in springtime like a walk in the rain like a storm in the desert like a sleepy blue ocean You fill up my senses come fill me again
Come let me love you let me give my life to you let me drown in your laughter let me die in your arms let me lie down beside you let me always be with you Come let me love you come love me again
May the road rise to meet you May the wind be always at your back The rains fall soft upon your fields And until we meet again May God hold you in the palm of His hand
You fill up my senses like a night in the forest like the mountains in springtime like a walk in the rain like a storm in the desert like a sleepy blue ocean You fill up my senses come fill me again
I’ve been a Zoom host on Evolutionary Collective calls for a long time. I’ve made a difference there. And … I don’t want to do it anymore. The stress is large for me – making sure the participants’ experience isn’t diminished by technical problems.
So onward to other adventures. My last Zoomie session is on Tuesday, October 1.
On October 5 and 6, the Gravel World Championships of cycling will be in Leuven, Belgium, east of Brussels. Take a look:
My plan had been to take the train from Gent on the 5th, see the women race, and then come back home that evening. Easy peasy. (I like watching women a lot more than men!)
But then …
My mind rolls. “Leuven is another ancient Belgian city. Why not spend a couple of days there?” Why not, indeed?
So I’ve booked an Airbnb for three nights – Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I’ll explore the architectural wonders and cute neighbourhoods on Friday, see the women on Saturday and the men on Sunday.
I deserve to celebrate an ending and a beginning. Who knows what will beckon me?
Here’s a room I want to experience with my eyes. It’s in the library of Leuven University. I will find it on the Friday.
And there’s more. Last night I went to a concert. I talked to the woman sitting beside me. She pointed me towards Matera and Lecce, both cities in Italy. And to Greece. Plus Slovenia.
I think two nights ago I had a dream about a DVD. I was trying to push it into the slot of an old VHS machine. I really shoved it in! And no movie was forthcoming.
Last night I wandered between open and closed eyes. I was feeling huge remorse for wrecking the VHS machine the night before.
What I don’t know is whether this was happening in a dream. Can one dream remember a previous one? That would be so cool. Or was I awake? Either way, the pain was intense.
I’ve long lived by the adage Do No Harm. I’m been imperfect in the execution but the words are often at the front of my mind … and my actions usually follow.
I’m in the middle of a conflict with the bar downstairs about nighttime noise. Hmm … that word. What does it mean?
A serious disagreement about something important
Yes, that sounds right. We’re negotiating about a solution that balances my needs with those of the business. It’s possible that a “business/neighbour” department of the city of Gent will act as a mediator.
What’s important to me is both a solution and how we arrive at it. No antagonism. No attacking of character. Rather a feeling of connection even as we negotiate through our differences.
Those words appeared in my brain an hour ago. What mystery! I’ve never uttered them.
Apparently it’s a common expression in the UK, meaning “different kinds of things that are usually small and unimportant”.
Today I’ll let my words roam around several topics. And who knows … maybe something will be important. Or just fun.
***
I walked into Izy Coffee this morning with a new possibility. I told the barista Arjen that I’d been watching people. They all walk with their arms dangling at their sides. I was tired of doing that. At that moment, I threw my arms into the air and declared that I was going to walk like that for the rest of my life.
And then I exited the store with arms aloft, and made sure I stayed that way till I was past the corner of the next building. Why not? A few folks stared without smiling. Oh well.
***
My breakfast destination was The Cobbler. I sat facing the buffet table at the far end of the room. Diners would often pass by with their plate of delectables.
A couple in their 50’s walked into the restaurant and sat behind me. I guessed that they were English-speaking. Soon the husband made his way to the buffet and then headed back towards me.
I said “Hello.” He gave me a long smile and returned the greeting. Connection.
Then it was the wife’s turn to make her selection. As she was returning, I said “Hello.” She jerked her face away from me and said something strangled. It could have been “Hello.” Aversion rather than connection.
I’d rather marry him than her.
***
I’ve had a rough spot on my left cheek for over a year. It doesn’t itch. My doctor says it’s nothing. When it gets really jagged, I start picking at it. I can’t stay away. Eventually the rough flesh gets worn away by my finger. And the process starts again.
I seem to have a smoothness obsession. “I want all of my face to be smooth.” And that becomes more important than letting the red spot heal. A strange person.
Today it’s plenty rough, and I can feel the magnetic attraction of finger to face. But I’m not going to do it! So there.
I’m a member of an organization called the Evolutionary Collective. There are about 150 of us, from various parts of the world. We meet on Zoom.
We aim to enhance the spiritual connection between people, and to contribute to evolution … from “me” to “we”.
54 souls are in the Core of the EC, a group of people who have taken on an enhanced commitment to our work. We met yesterday.
Sometimes we focus on a single member of the Core for a short time, and Patricia Albere (the founder of the EC) shares what she sees in the person.
Yesterday it was my turn.
The essence of Patricia’s message was that she saw love in me. It was brighter than anything else.
And I knew her words were true. As she spoke, I heard “It’s my job” in my head. For a second, I thought of not saying it but I knew that wouldn’t help me or anyone else. And so …
“It’s my job”
It’s lovely to be truly seen. For someone to get that my life is to give, to serve, to be with. No one left out.
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