Have I ever said goodbye to someone for the last time when we were looking into each other’s eyes?  When we knew we’d never see each other again?

I don’t think so.

I stayed in my wife Jody’s hospital room as she was dying.  I said goodnight to her, not sure of her awareness of me in the moment.  And then in the middle of the night she stopped breathing.  Jody died.  No goodbye together.

In October, 2022 I sat alone with my friend Jo till about 1:00 am as death came near.  I said “Goodbye” before going to bed, but Jo was in and out of consciousness.  He died after I’d left.  No conscious ending together.

In April I visited many dear friends in Canada.  I said the magic words “I love you” over and over again and said “Goodbye” as I got into my rental car.  But it didn’t feel like an ending.  I thought I’d be back … sometime.  And I still think that.

So I’ve never said these words to an alert companion:

Goodbye, dear one.  You’ve made an immense difference in my life.  I love you

The moment will come …