Shunryu Suzuki was a monk who in the 1960’s popularized Zen Buddhism in the United States.  He founded the San Francisco Zen Center and wrote Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.

Ryuko Laura Burges tells a story about Shunryu:

A student entered Suzuki’s room at Zen Center not long before he died, and they bowed to each other.  Suzuki was very weak, but he looked into his student’s eyes and said firmly, “Don’t grieve for me.  Don’t worry.  I know who I am.”

I wonder if I do … know who I am.

Sometimes I ask myself what adjectives describe me.  The answer usually comes “kind and determined”.  So is that who I am? 

I sense that the only descriptions that matter are ones that include other people.  I am connected with you.  I could choose the words “I am a singer” but they only ring true when I’m singing to other people.

Then again, maybe I’m often so loose in the brain cells that the word “I” doesn’t resonate.  “Knowing” feels pretty elusive too.

***

So, Shunryu …

Sometimes I know who I am

And in other moments

I am drifting in the mystery of it all