On Saturday Lydia and her daughter Lore visited me.  Eight years ago, I met Lydia on a hiking trail in Canada.  We became friends.  She showed me Gent.  I fell in love with the city.  I moved from Canada to Belgium.

So Lydia is the reason I’m here!

Lydia stayed overnight on Saturday.  We went to a marvelous Italian restaurant called Osteria for dinner.  The food was sublime, but came second to the conversation.

Before dinner, we saw my neighbour Dirk in the stairway.  We laughed together.  And … Dirk invited us for breakfast.

Sunday morning, a fine time was had by all.  And the same thing as Saturday night: excellent food, more excellent talk.

As we roamed wide through the experiences of our lives, Dirk told us about the advice he gave his young sons long ago.  Dirk is a storyteller.  I sat there transfixed.

He painted a picture of the conversation: dad animated, lots of gestures, a passionate voice.  Here’s Dirk’s advice:

1.  Don’t Judge

You don’t walk in the other person’s shoes.  You don’t know what their childhood was like.  Have they been nurtured or diminished?  It’s fair to comment on how another person’s behaviour has hurt you … but do not throw them out of your heart.

2.  Travel

The tendency is strong to say “My way is the way” or “My people are better than their people.”  The trouble is, if you never sit down and talk to someone whose background is way different than yours, the beauty of “difference” will remain hidden.  So get out there in the world and look around.  If you don’t have the money or health to take planes and trains … read.  Authors, cultures, fiction/non-fiction – travel!

3.  Stay Horny!

And not just sexual.  What are your yearnings?  Follow them.  Go towards what moves you and let go of experiences that leave you “flat” or wounded.  Think of your deathbed:  Please … no regrets, just smiles that roll over the span of a life – people loved, places embraced, moments of wonder.

***

You’re a great dad, Dirk

And just a few weeks ago … a grandad

Give Miki June a decade

And then have a talk