Before I get into symbols, I have news.  My grief of yesterday is gone!  I’m so happy to say goodbye, even knowing that the future may bring it back to me.

I looked up “old” in the dictionary: “having lived for a long time”.  Well, yes, that’s me.  Not as old as someone of 90 years, but the shoe still fits.

My choice is whether to say “I am old!” or “I am old.”  The second one, please.

I lost about a day in my sorrow.  As a younger man, I remember donating many days or even weeks to the woes I was creating in my mind.  I don’t want to do that anymore.  If I linger submerged in the swamp, I’m not available to other human beings.  I can’t love them from the goo.

And love is who I am

***

Now … the symbols.  Here’s the first one:

For years, I’ve seen the arrow as me.  I pour my energy into people, one at a time as the moments of the day unfold.  When I’m in a 1-1 conversation, life in the background disappears.  I see only her or him.

Of course the arrow is really two-pointed.  I receive so much beauty from other human beings.  Still, from my end, I’m immersed in one other person.

I meditated for a long time yesterday.  I checked my watch as I returned to “normal life” … one hour and forty-three minutes.

*Pause*

Hmm.  Why did I include the length of time?  Is that just pure ego speaking?  >  Oh, Bruce, be quiet.  Forget the analysis.  Let it go.  >  Okay.

*Return*

During the time in my meditation chair, images came and went, including the arrow.  At one point it began morphing into a circle, with many arrows flowing outwards:

And then the quiet voice … “This one, Bruce.”  Plus another word: “Radiate”.

And there I was, in the unwavering stillness, letting the circle fill me.  “This one.”  Even when I’m with one person.  Fill the room.  Fill the world.  Have love float from the centre in all directions, reaching souls everywhere, even as I’m physically only with you.  And allow me to see the far wider you that stretches to infinity.

Even during the peace of this meditation moment, my eyes, closed as they were, opened wide beneath the lids.

I am shown, day after day, the bigness of life.  There is a rolling wonder that carries me.  Sometimes I see it, sometimes not.  Symbols such as the circle with arrows help a lot.

What does “radiate” mean?  I have a good idea, but perhaps Webster has a finer one …

Clearly emanating a strong feeling or quality through their expression or bearing

Yes … I’ll do that