I like standing in the middle, with lots of room around.  A place to breathe easy.  But that isn’t always the story of my day, or yours.  My life in Belgium has taken me to two edges, where I stare down the precipice.

Learning Dutch

Playing cello

It’s all a crescendo right now, as my final Dutch exam looms a little more than two weeks away, and I’m in a concert of 25 cellists this Saturday.

Both are new, so beyond what I know.  I experience being “without skill”, or at least with apparently not enough skill to get the job done well.

The music for Saturday is so difficult, the fingers needing to move immensely fast to play the melody of my part.  Oh well.  The new Dutch grammar and listening exercises come fast and furious, and I’m often left with my tongue hanging down in despair.  Oh well again.

The truth is that I’m doing both things, risking my self-esteem and the opinions of others.  I’m here.  I’m now.  And I’m grappling with learning two things I want dearly.  Good for me.

Saturday morning, I’ll be dressed in my finest on a stage in St. Michael’s Church, along with my musical compatriots.  We’ll play six pieces … and we’ll give our best.

On June 8, I’ll sit in a classroom with my 12 Dutch-learning compatriots.  For two-and-a-half hours we’ll write, listen to audio, and speak our new language.  Pass or fail, we’ve each achieved so much, so often banging our heads against the unknown.

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Two reasons to smile