It’s a recurring theme in my life … and it’s growing stronger:

Love the moment

Whether it’s roses or thorns

This is unknown territory that is slowly seeping into the known.  And it’s not about suppressing my reactions to the bad stuff.  We all have painful times with other people, with our health, with our self-esteem.  And then there’s money, aging and not being good at some task.

In the midst of the pain, I usually let myself feel what I’m feeling – sadness, hurt, embarrassment, anger …  I wither within the experience.  I let the emotion stay as long as it wants to.

But something deeper often bubbles up, something that takes away the knife thrust of the pain:

I love what’s here right now

I experience love for what life is showing me.  I give it a lingering hug.  I don’t tell it to go away.

The hurting remains but it’s usually outshined by the mystery of being alive.  My mouth opens in awe of the tapestry I’m being given.

Then the yammering voice intrudes:

You can’t love physical pain

You can’t love failing at something

You can’t love being rejected

***

I’m sitting here in the middle of “not knowing”

The new is knocking on the door

I will let it enter