Patricia Albere, founder of the Evolutionary Collective, recently talked about pressure.  It’s a good thing.  Life is richer when we have moments of essential performance.

Today two sources of pressure are living in me:

One

I’m often the Zoom host on EC calls.  It’s marvelous to have a wide open mind and heart but there comes a time when a job needs to be done.  The 30 or 40 people online need me to produce the result of a technically smooth meeting.  I don’t want to make any mistakes that would distract them from connecting with their partner.

Earlier this week, I was all set up on Zoom ten minutes before the session was to start.  Folks were arriving onscreen.  The teacher looked to be meditating.

And my screen froze …

I tried pressing Control-Alt-Delete to turn off the laptop.  No response.  Press and hold the power button > same.  The teacher had texted me that I seemed to have lost internet connection.  “Yes.  I’m trying to get back on.”

I wouldn’t call my reaction calm but it was … even.  Unlike the keys, my fingers and mind hadn’t frozen.

Finally (two minutes later?) things started working again.  With five minutes to go, I was back in the meeting.  I did the various tasks that were necessary.  And at the top of the hour I welcomed the participants.

Sometime during the session, I thought of the tennis champion Billie Jean King, and her marvelous quote:

Pressure is a Privilege

Indeed

Two

I want to sing for people.  Two nights ago, I enjoyed a concert at a small hall in Gent called Minard.  There were about five scheduled performers sprinkled throughout the evening.

The MC announced that after the break, there’d be some “open mic” time.  “Sign up for a spot.”  I didn’t.  I didn’t have a song ready.  Besides I was just plain scared.

However …

“The next open mic opportunity will be on Monday, November 13.”

I’m going to sing on the 13th.  You heard it here first.  The head will be held high – with the voice perfect or imperfect, the melody in tune or not, the words solid or unsure.

No matter the quality, I will sing Paint the Sky with Stars … passionately.  I will reach the audience.  I will fill the room.

I will be afraid.  And I will keep going.

Right now I know the melody.  I know the key to sing in – one that will allow me to hit some delicious low notes.  The pressure of the next month is to learn the words!  Some of them already live in my soul:

Suddenly before my eyes
Hues of indigo arise

Others have trouble finding their way from the phone to my lips:

Night has brought to those who sleep
Only dreams they cannot keep
I have legends in the deep

Hmm … much concentration needed.  Daily repetition.  And confidence that when the moment comes, so will these words.

Of course the pressure will be most pointed when I step onstage and bring my lips close to the microphone.

Bring it on