I sat with a friend this morning in a coffee shop.  He had a faraway look in his eyes.  Eventually he pulled out some photos.

It was in 2001.  He sat holding hands with his sister.  He was 31, she 24.  Lovely smiles … tenderness.

Here’s a photo from the internet of a younger brother and sister, with the same sweet feeling:

Twenty-two years later, my friend and his sister barely talk.  She blames him for their troubles.  And she finally exited from an abusive relationship with her husband.

The hands are now far apart.  No cuddling on the couch.  Two solitudes.

The story, of course, is far from unique. There’s nothing wrong with “I think this, you think that”. But why does it so often lead to a weaponizing of the relationship? “You did this! You said that!”

So sad …

I wish my friend a reunion with his sister. He shakes his head. No possibility hangs in the air. The future is a fait accompli.

But it’s not.

***

May the fingers entwine once more