Last night, Jody and took in the buffet at the Mandarin Restaurant in London. It was an oriental, occidental and every other -ental feast you could imagine. I’ve long been known as a culninary conservative and yesterday was no exception. Discretion is my middle name. Actually, it’s Archer. Anyway, here’s the short list of items consumed by yours truly:
Smoked salmon sushi, California roll, avocado sushi, salmon egg sushi, tuna sashimi, potato salad, broccoli salad, fruit salad, mixed vegetables, chicken wings, mushroom chow mein, Shanghai noodles, hot pepper beef, teriyaki shrimp, garlic chicken, caramel mini-cupcake, cheesecake, cheesecake ice cream, chocolate cookie, and … a fortune cookie. (The real meaning of enlightenment is to gaze with undimmed eyes on all undimmed). I don’t know about enlightenment … the evening seemed to be about enheaviment.
Happily, I didn’t have to undo the button at the top of my fly after the meal. Being discreet has its privileges. Since I wasn’t being bothered by bodily pains, there was time to ruminate on the vast variety of foods that were now sitting inside of me. So many flavours. So many colours. So many textures. And I started to think about people, all seven billion of us: all shapes, sizes, ages, personalities, appearances and strengths. How would I describe that buffet? My friend Google came to the rescue, painting a multifaceted picture of us human beings:
| Aable abnormal absent-minded above average adventurous affectionate agile agreeable alert amazing ambitious amiable amusing analytical angelic apathetic apprehensive ardent artificial artistic assertive attentive average awesome awful Bbalanced beautiful below average beneficent blue blunt boisterous brave bright brilliant buff Ccallous candid cantankerous capable careful careless caustic cautious charming childish childlike cheerful chic churlish circumspect civil clean clever clumsy coherent cold competent composed conceited condescending confident confused conscientious considerate content cool cool-headed cooperative cordial courageous cowardly crabby crafty cranky crass critical cruel curious cynical |
Ddainty decisive deep deferential deft delicate demonic dependent delightful demure depressed devoted dextrous diligent direct dirty disagreeable discerning discreet disruptive distant distraught distrustful dowdy dramatic dreary drowsy drugged drunk dull dutiful Eeager earnest easy-going efficient egotistical elfin emotional energetic enterprising enthusiastic evasive even-tempered exacting excellent excitable experienced Ffabulous fastidious ferocious fervent fiery flabby flaky flashy frank friendly funny fussy Ggenerous gentle gloomy glutinous good grave great groggy grouchy guarded Hhateful hearty helpful hesitant hot-headed hypercritical hysterical |
Iidiotic idle illogical imaginative immature immodest impatient imperturbable impetuous impractical impressionable impressive impulsive inactive incisive incompetent inconsiderate inconsistent independent indiscreet indolent indefatigable industrious inexperienced insensitive inspiring intelligent interesting intolerant inventive irascible irritable irritating Jjocular jovial joyous judgmental Kkeen kind Llame lazy lean leery lethargic level-headed listless lithe lively local logical long-winded lovable love-lorn lovely Mmaternal mature mean meddlesome mercurial methodical meticulous mild miserable modest moronic morose motivated musical |
Nnaive nasty natural naughty negative nervous noisy normal nosy numb Oobliging obnoxious old-fashioned one-sided orderly ostentatious outgoing outspoken Ppassionate passive paternal paternalistic patient peaceful peevish pensive persevering persnickety petulant picky plain plain-speaking playful pleasant plucky polite popular positive powerful practical prejudiced pretty proficient proud provocative prudent punctual |
Qquarrelsome querulous quick quick-tempered quiet Rrealistic reassuring reclusive reliable reluctant resentful reserved resigned resourceful respected respectful responsible restless revered ridiculous Ssad sassy saucy sedate self-assured selfish sensible sensitive sentimental serene serious sharp short-tempered shrewd shy silly sincere sleepy slight sloppy slothful slovenly slow smart snazzy sneering snobby somber sober sophisticated soulful soulless sour spirited spiteful stable staid steady stern stoic striking strong stupid sturdy subtle sullen sulky supercilious superficial surly suspicious sweet |
Ttactful tactless talented testy thinking thoughtful thoughtless timid tired tolerant touchy tranquil Uugly unaffected unbalanced uncertain uncooperative undependable unemotional unfriendly unguarded unhelpful unimaginative unmotivated unpleasant unpopular unreliable unsophisticated unstable unsure unthinking unwilling Vvenal versatile vigilant Wwarm warmhearted wary watchful weak well-behaved well-developed well-intentioned well-respected well-rounded willing wonderful Yvolcanic vulnerable Zzealous |
Quite the smorgasbord, wouldn’t you say? Beyond good and bad, tasty and bland, filling and light. Just us.
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